American History

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.  Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'”

 

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodakio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up said: “Patrick Henry, 1775.”

 

“Very good! — Who said, ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth.'”

 

Again, no response except from Little Hodakio: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”

 

“Excellent,” said the teacher continuing, “Let’s try one a bit more difficult — Who said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do for your country.'”

 

Once again, Hodakio’s was the only hand in the air and he said: “John F. Kennedy, 1961.”

 

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Little Hodakio isn’t from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.”

 

She heard a loud whisper: “F**k the Japs.”

 

“Who said that? — I want to know right now!” she angrily demanded.

 

Little Hodakio put his hand up, “General MacArthur, 1945.”

 

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”

 

The teacher glares around and asks, “All right! — Now who said that?”

 

Again, Little Hodakio says, “President George H. W. Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

 

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? — Suck this!”

 

Little Hodakio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

 

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit! — If you say anything else — I’ll kill you!”

 

Little Hodakio frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004.”

 

The teacher fainted.  As-the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re F**ked!”

 

 

 

 

 

Little Hodakio said quietly, “The American people, November 4, 2008, when Obama was elected”.

 

 

 

 

 

Medical School Exam

Medical School Exam
When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.

One of the questions asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered “spine” are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email.

Happy Thanksgiving!

How do Court Recorders Keep Straight Faces???

How do Court Recorders Keep Straight Faces???

 

You have got to love these!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the
exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your
husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I,
Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is
Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were
you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and
Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:
Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie
there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What
is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What
year?
WITNESS: Every
year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is
your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or
thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived
with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five
years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia
gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY:
And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I
forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you
forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now
doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t
know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass
the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The
youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much
like your
IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you
present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting
me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the
date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:
Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:
Getting
laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She
had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were
boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS:
Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:
How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By
death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:
Take a
guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can
you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and
had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless
the Circus was in town I’m going with
male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your
appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to
work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor ,
how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a
fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL
your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:
Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you
recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy
started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the
time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I
finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified
to ask that question?
______________________________________
And
last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood
pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for
breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that
the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:
No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his
brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the
patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is
possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.

 

 

 

 

Don Wilson’s Message and Photo from Facebook


The Sistrunk Family from White Springs lost there home to a house fire last night. No one was injured Praise God. Please keep this family in your prayers. We are putting together a fundraiser to help this family rebuild. Ill post a flier soon as i get all the details. Have a Safe and Blessed Thanksgiving
Sistrunk Fire

God Bless our Fire Fighters, Police Officers, Deputy Sheriff and Duke Energy

Our Special Thanks to the White Springs Fire Department, Lt. Don Wilson who BR said was first on the scene, the Volunteer Fire Fighters from Genoa and the Fire Fighters from Jasper.  Because of these Fire Fighters dedication and service, they kept the fire from spreading to the Scott Day residence and to our pole barn.

Also a special thanks to our police department and volunteers and to Deputy Griffin who were there throughout the night to assist in whatever way they could.

Last but not least a thanks to Duke Energy who managed to get our electrical power on by 1:00 am Thanksgiving day.

May God Bless all of you for your dedication and service.